The Big Decisions

Everything changes, seasons come and go, and we make decisions every day. It’s all good

Making the big decisions in life, the ones that collapse multiple possibilities that are available down to just one, can be difficult. Beyond difficult actually. It can be almost paralyzing.

Should I quit my job, leave my relationship, get married, have kids, buy a house, go back to school, move across the country, move to a new country? These are all big decisions. They are big because they are life changing.

Any of the scenarios above would completely change your life from what it is now. The risk of making the wrong decision is what fills us with fear and conflict.

If only we could see into the future and know which decision will work out the best!

But wait – what if you knew that no matter which decision you make, which future path you choose, that it can’t possibly be wrong?

Trust that nothing that happens is wrong. Ever. Every situation provides an opportunity for learning and growth.

Decisions lead to outcomes, outcomes lead to new decisions, and learning happens at every stage. There are no wrong decisions, there are opportunities to learn no matter what happens externally to you.

The only thing that can stop the flow of your personal evolution is to make no decision, but even that is a decision of sorts. Staying in the same situation and trying to limit any change or newness in your life is quite limiting, and the opportunity to learn is stifled.

But the learning will still be there, although perhaps more gradual than what the big decisions bring.

Stability and security are important to us, but at the same time they are illusions. Everything in this world changes and will continue to change regardless of our desire to try to make it be the same.

Life is meant to flow. We go from one moment to the next moment with either a sense of ease or a sense of resistance. Resistance makes life difficult, acceptance brings peace.

This is where it is helpful to remember that nothing you decide can ever be wrong. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, so be mindful of the decisions you make.

If you begin to accept that change will happen whether you want it to or not, and allow the moment to be as it is without imposing your own restrictions or conditions on it, then you can move from resistance to a position of acceptance and of peace.

This doesn’t mean to allow yourself to be harmed, or to put yourself in situations that are unpleasant and take no steps to move away. It means knowing what the truth of the moment is and then making a decision to accept it or change it.

Accept that there is only one thing you have control over in this world, and that is how you are on the inside. You can be peaceful or you can be miserable, that is a choice you make. If chaos surrounds you, know that it cannot touch you within.

Accept other people as they are. It is not your right to try to change anyone. We are all on our own journey and none of us knows the lessons that others are here to learn.

The physical body is born, changes through the stages of life, then dies. The physical can be harmed by circumstances that are beyond your control. But the body is not who you are.

No matter what happens to the body, the essence of you will continue.

So make decisions. Stand behind them no matter where they may take you, and know that results are neither right nor wrong. 

They just are.

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