You don’t have to move fast, but you do need to move
This is it. You may have decided that you are going to make some big changes in your life. It could be a change in careers, moving, leaving or starting a relationship, or going back to school.
Now what?
I have done these things – all of them – so many times over the last few decades that I have learned a thing or two about myself during the process.
I have lived in other countries, switched careers four times, gone back to school full-time while still working, started and ended long-term relationships, and moved more times than I can count.
In other words, I have lived a life full of changes all of the time.
Can I get a crystal ball before I make a decision? That wouldn’t be any fun though!
Good, bad, or ugly, we make them every day. Constantly. Actually, in every moment.
Most of our time is spent making the same decisions we always make. Decisions made over a period of time become habits, and these habits become so ingrained that they are difficult to change.
If your habits aren’t taking you where you want to go, it’s time to make a decision to change them!
The most liberating thought is knowing that you can change everything about your life and even who you are by making the decision to do so. Quite honestly, you can reinvent yourself completely in the span of 10 seconds.
Just do it becomes just decide it.
Hate your job? Then figure out how to change it. If you can’t find aspects of it to improve and enjoy, then it might be time to leave. Complaining about it doesn’t make anything better.
Make a decision one way or the other, and then take action. Once you set the wheels in motion you can change your work situation completely.
Hate your relationship? Before you change it, look at yourself first. Expecting another person to make you happy is unfair. If you are unhappy with yourself, it doesn’t matter what happens outside of you. You will still be unhappy. Work on yourself first and see if that changes the relationship too. If not, then you can make a decision about it then.
Hate your body? This one is the easiest because you can take steps right now to improve it. Change how you eat and exercise and decide in every moment that you want to be the best physical self you can be.
This all sounds so easy, and in reality it is. With each decision made in every moment, you are either moving towards something you want or away from it. The power is yours to do whatever you want.
Fear is the biggest impediment to initiating changes. We become comfortable with routines and with the illusion of security and safety, and inertia sets in. Change can be difficult, but the thought of being exactly where you are or even worse off five years from now should be a great motivator.
Without taking action and moving towards something, you are resigning yourself to staying stuck. That should cause more fear than the thought of change does.
Consider that all of us are here for a limited time. The realization of our own mortality can be the biggest motivator there is. If you don’t take action now, then when?
It isn’t about what we are doing, but the love and joy that we bring to each task that matters. Make the decision to be a peaceful, joyful entity and you can become that. Learn to step outside of the reactions you normally have and respond in a different way.
Make the decision to be who you want to be and then just do it!
The old me. She was alright – we just aren’t the same person anymore – photo credit MrWillWong.com
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who I am, what I represent, and how I am perceived in the world. I’m not actually sure that any of these are the same thing.
We all have a persona, a collection of behaviours and mannerisms that become who we are. Other people know us by this, and if you step outside of these lines you often hear, “What’s wrong with you today?” or, “You just aren’t acting like yourself”.
Acting like yourself – and the world is our stage. It seems like the persona is basically a put-on show, a representation of ourselves that we use to relate to each other and the world around us.
But is it actually who we are? Or just a reasonable facsimile? Are we actors on a stage, playing the parts that become our lives?
I tested this theory by doing something that others would consider drastic. To most people, drastic is really just any kind of change. In the quest to find some security in an insecure world, we tend to cling to things and people and not want them to change.
But change is inevitable. Much as you are no longer the tiny baby that came into this world, or the awkward teenager, or whichever body you were in ten years age, your personality has evolved as well.
My drastic change was walking away from a career that I loved, completely leaving behind everything that I was known for to pursue something totally different. People didn’t know how to react to this, and although I could feel their support, I could also feel the doubts as well.
Basically, many of them thought I was crazy. They still think that. Sometimes I think that too.
But through making this big change, I have reconnected with who I am on a much deeper level. Who I am isn’t what I do for a living, it is much more than that.
It is the inner essence, the quality of presence and of life energy that defines who I am.
As I progress through this journey, I am discovering that I am beyond definition. We all are.
Through the act of reinvention, I have become much more present, forced to think my way through my actions as opposed to running through the routines of life on auto-pilot.
I feel like a human being, not a human doing.
It’s scary sometimes, not having the illusion of security and routine to hide under anymore. But it’s also tremendously liberating. The persona that was me is gone now, and I stand reconnected to my vulnerability as a person.
It’s going to be quite the journey, this life that I am living. I do know one thing – I like this new me a lot. She’s going to be just fine.
