#95 Focus On What You Can Control

I wanted a picture with the quokka, and he wanted to climb on me. You just can’t control others!

The weather, the state of the economy, politicians, traffic, and the people in your life can all be major sources of stress for you. They are also completely out of your control. Fighting against what you don’t like but can’t control is a futile exercise, leading to stress, frustration, and ultimately ill health. Focus instead on the multiple things that are under your control.

Health, energy levels, happiness, and your overall outlook on life are all under the sphere of what you can change. By altering a few habits that you have accumulated, you can completely steer your life in a new direction. If you are unhappy with your physical condition or the circumstances of your life, then know that you can exercise some control in these areas.

Action – Death is the one thing we all have in common, and the one thing that none of us controls. There are actions that you can take every day to make it less likely that you are the cause of your own early mortality, but other than that there will be an ending at some point in time. It could be tomorrow, or it could be 50 years from now, but one day it will come. 

This isn’t morbid, but it is a call to action. There should be a peacefulness in the knowledge that this journey will not stretch for eternity, but it should also invoke a sense of urgency. Procrastination and putting off important things for some future date that may never come is wasteful and arrogant in a way. Assuming that you have unlimited time ahead of you will increase the likelihood that something you wish to accomplish may never happen. This is how regrets are made.

Steps – Life is short, and for some the end comes much sooner than for others. Accept this fact and then design your life from there. Sit down and take the time to decide what is important to you and what you want to accomplish before the end comes. Understand that there are no guarantees you will be in a better position to achieve important goals in the future. If you really want to do something, then start now. 

There is nothing you can’t do if you want it badly enough. Start with the things that you can control and go from there. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and look around you. If you don’t like what you see, figure out what you want instead and take action now. Don’t wait for a day that may never come.

Why It Makes You Feel Better – Deciding on what is important to us and taking control of our own lives is all we can really do. If you need other people to change to enable you to feel the way you want, or to have the life that you want, then you are wasting valuable time. It isn’t your right to demand that someone else lives their life the way you deem acceptable, just as it isn’t someone else’s right to tell you how to live yours. Trying to control what isn’t yours to control is a waste of energy.

There is freedom in releasing unrealistic expectations and in putting all of your energy into yourself. Treat your body well, do activities that bring you joy, and find acceptance within. This will lead to a life of joy.

Example – Express gratitude for all that you have encountered and what is in your life now. Everything is there for a reason, and it has contributed to who you are today. Be thankful for all of it, especially the things you don’t like. Unwanted experiences hasten our realization of what we would prefer instead. 

Spend some time today contemplating your own mortality, and then stop wasting time. Take control of all that you can change and then do what is important to you.

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