So many of us carry the hurts and injustices of the past into our present reality. Much of who we are today was shaped by events that happened long ago, usually when we were too young to control anything around us.
Some of us grew up in abusive homes, where there was no love and no comfort. It is extremely difficult to come out of a situation like that and not carry the emotional scars that go with it.
Others of us were much more fortunate, coming from a loving environment where we were made to feel wanted and special. That contributes to who we think that we are, and thus how we carry ourselves in the world now.
This is why it is so important not to quickly pass judgment on others. It is impossible to know exactly what anyone dealt with during the formative years. They may be products of a very unhappy past.
Children in impoverished countries grow up seeing death, injustice, and scarcity. It would be difficult to blossom into the full essence of who they could be when saddled with this burden so early in life. Survival is all that matters.
Consider the opposite, where a child grows up in luxury and opulence, tended to by nannies but maybe never really feeling a close connection with their parents. We read all of the time how these privileged children turn into drug addicts or alcoholics. Many don’t, but some do.
It’s just to say that because you had every advantage early in life, what you felt has more importance than what you had.
Most of us fall somewhere in between these two examples. We were taken care of, had enough to eat, clothes to wear, and a safe environment.
As for what the emotions were in the household, that is where the hurts are often born.
If you were ignored, you can grow up being shy and invisible. Your self-worth may have suffered immensely.
Or you may become an extrovert, intent on getting as much attention as you possibly can. There are lots of examples of this because these people often end up as actors or television personalities or in another profession that puts them in the limelight.
Our feelings of self-worth colour the decisions we make every day.
You might feel that you deserve the very best, or that you don’t deserve anything nice. If childhood was a time of struggle, then you likely develop one of two attitudes. The first is a fighter mentality, someone who has to work hard and conquer the world to get what they want. The other is a martyr, someone who never tries to get more because deep down they feel they don’t deserve it.
None of this really matters if you are content with who you are, living a peaceful existence and feeling that life is overall pretty good. Unfortunately there aren’t many of us who feel that way.
So much of who we are now is due to what happened to us so long ago. Those people who hurt you, or belittled you, or bullied you aren’t here anymore.
Some of them have left the physical plane. Others may be close to the end of their lives, and some may still be near you but should be unable to hurt you anymore now that you are older.
The point is, whatever happened to you when you couldn’t do anything to defend yourself is over. The only place it still lives on is in your mind.
Unpleasant experiences serve no purpose in the present. Reliving them is a way of keeping them alive, dwelling in recreating the past pain now.
It is time to let go.
The only one who can hurt you now is you. Listen carefully to the thoughts that run through your mind, and become conscious of the ones that sound like the perpetrators of your past hurts. This doesn’t need to be your voice now.
Set a goal of freedom from any limitations imposed on you by people who aren’t here anymore. Release the hurts, the injustices and the pain.
Free yourself to live the life of peace and joy that you deserve.