There are many artificial ways to change the way we look and feel. Surgery, prescription drugs, narcotics, makeup and hair dye are all tools that can be used to change us, and they all come with different consequences. The basic assumption behind the desire to change who we are is that we aren’t already good enough.
It’s okay to want to be the best version of yourself. But when society tells you that you must be a certain way or you aren’t valuable, and you believe it, then this isn’t helpful. Just as there are millions of different animals and plants that are unique, humans are meant to come in different shapes, sizes, colours and temperaments. There isn’t supposed to be a cookie cutter human being.
Action – The Buddha said, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
To love means to accept and to be kind. The way we look is not decided by us. From the nose on your face to the shape of your eyes to the build of your body, the way you are is the way you were meant to be. Fighting against what is because it isn’t deemed ideal by the society around you can cause untold suffering.
Steps – Embrace everything about you that is unique. None of us can go back in time and change the way we felt growing up, or the way other people treated us. If those around you weren’t kind and made you feel like you were inadequate because of the way you looked, then it is up to you to change the way you view yourself. Maya Angelou said, “It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.” If you weren’t taught this, then learn the lesson now.
No one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you believe what they say. Be as authentic as you can be, and know that your gifts are making the world a better place. Accept everything about yourself and be confident that who you are is who you were meant to be.
Why It Makes You Feel Better – With technology, social media and other advances that have connected the world in a way it never has been before, it is much easier to compare ourselves to others and to decide to feel inferior. The media celebrates a certain kind of physical appearance and if you don’t feel that you measure up, then feelings of inferiority can affect you deeply. This is especially true for children and adolescents who don’t have the confidence to understand that being unique makes them special.
As a society, it is important that we remember that who we are as individuals is more valuable that what we look like. This is a very complex subject with multiple layers to it, but at least extend the kindness and acceptance to yourself and those around you. That way you will not contribute to the problem on a larger scale.
Example – Focus on your achievements and how you can help others instead of worrying about looking a certain way. Accept that how you look will change as you get older and be okay with that. We change from the day we come into the world as tiny babies to the way we grow, mature, and then become old. Beauty shines from the inside, and the way you make other people feel is a reflection of how beautiful you are.
Love the one you see in the mirror and be kind. We are all exactly the way we are supposed to be.