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Relief From Life

Costa Rica – the ultimate place to lose and then find yourself again

Relief – switch the ‘f’ and the ‘e’ around at the end of the word and you get re-life. Have you ever wished that you could have a do-over, the ultimate mulligan as it were and go back and change a few things? Or maybe change everything?

Youth is wasted on the young. I’m sure that you have heard that one before, but there is some truth that our perspectives change as we grow older, and hopefully wiser. Things that once appealed to us don’t seem like such great choices anymore.

Let’s face it – we have all done things we regret! Whether it was something that now affects your current state of health, or a mistake that altered the path of your life forever, you can linger on thoughts of, “What if…?” or “If only I had (hadn’t)…”.

Nothing productive comes from dwelling in the past. But in this moment, you have the power to alter the course of your life forever.

Look around you. If you aren’t happy with the current state of your life situation, and you are about to live today exactly like you did yesterday and the day before, then your tomorrows are going to be filled with much of the same.

Fear of change can keep us rooted exactly where we are, unhappy but unwilling to take steps to move towards living a new normal.

I found for myself that when I changed the way I looked at things, everything around me began to change. In reality everything was probably still the same at first but it was what I was noticing that changed.

I started to see beauty everywhere, from a magnificent sunset to the flowers in bloom. I stopped being too busy to take the time to really see what was going on around me.

The most important thing to remember is that happiness comes from within. Just changing jobs, or careers, or relationships doesn’t guarantee happiness on the other side.

Remember , wherever you go, there you are. If you have a misery consciousness, outside circumstances will support that.

Through the gift of being more present and mindful, I found little ways every day to feel happy. It was addictive too – the happier I felt the more I wanted to feel that way all of the time.

Then I found out that it was contagious! As I became happier, I shared that with the people around me and discovered that when I was pleasant, everyone I encountered seemed more pleasant as well.

Is it as simple as being a “Pollyanna” and just walking around happy all of the time?

If the alternative is to walk around being miserable, then it doesn’t seem like a bad thing to try.

If you know that you need to change something, then change it. But first find the peace inside of you and live from that space. From there you will know exactly what you need to do.

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Making Habits Work For You

Run towards things, not away from them

I feel good. I’m into the second half of my life and I don’t think I’ve ever felt as good as I do now.

Is it because I’m lucky? Sure, that probably has something to do with it.

But I also work at it.

Six days a week, I wake up early and exercise. Every week, week after week, even when I don’t feel like it. Because after I’m finished, I always feel fantastic.

A few years ago I made a decision that I wanted to be fit, to have lots of energy, and to feel good about myself. At the time I was 20 pounds overweight, sluggish, and not sleeping well.

So I started a morning fitness routine. At first it was running, then I got into yoga, and now I am big on strength training.

My workouts have changed, but the working out part hasn’t. I don’t even think about it anymore – I literally climb out of bed right into my workout clothes.

I’ve come to recognize that the most important thing to do is develop good habits. Since we spend most of our lives on autopilot, it’s important that your habits take you in the direction you want to go.

Developing good habits gets you away from having to argue with yourself. Remember, the part of you that wants to change old behaviours will never win, especially at 6:00 in the morning! You have to consciously outsmart your old habits, because they are comfortable and friendly and crafty.

They will try to beat you every time.

To defeat and replace them, you need to make it easy on yourself. Get clear about why you want to change, make your reason extremely important to you, and then prepare a plan in advance. Put the gym clothes beside the bed. Move your alarm clock into another room. Fill the fridge with healthy food.

Outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver the little you who doesn’t like change.

Five Ways to Make Your Habits Work For You

  1. Make a Decision – Every act has to start with a decision. By getting clear with what you want, it is much easier to take action.
  2. Start Small – It’s nice to want to change everything in one day, but we all know these changes seldom last. Just think how effective New Year’s resolutions are! By making one small change at a time, you are much more likely to stick with it.
  3. Check In – Be honest with where you are and how committed you feel. Remember that you are completely in charge of this. Hold yourself accountable and have strong reasons for why the change is important to you.
  4. Commit For a Specific Time Frame – Make it at least 30 days. Research shows that this is often long enough for most people to make changes that stick.
  5. Reward Yourself – Having something to look forward to that is a direct result of your new habit is important. Most people respond much better to positive encouragement rather than negative reinforcement.

Make it easy to succeed. Pick a change that is very important to you, but isn’t the thing that frightens you the most. Once you get the hang of it, the bigger changes won’t seem so impossible!

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Dare to Dream

The sky is the limit!

There is something to be said for the familiar. It’s comfortable, feels safe, and pushing beyond its cozy limitations isn’t fun sometimes.

Without pushing through, though, you can’t advance towards your dreams. Why? Because if your current habits supported the realization of your dreams, then you would have everything you want already.

So unless you can see your dreams ahead and you are following steps every day to reach them, there is room for improvement!

These are the steps I took to get the ball rolling and to start to change who I was, from the decisions I was making to the actions I was taking. The funny thing was – it wasn’t that difficult once I got started!

  1. Where – Be clear about where you want to go. This is the most important step to take. A clear, detailed map will get you on the road and make it much easier to start going forward.
  2. Why – Be clear about why you want to get there. You want to be rich? Why? What will your life look like and how will you feel when you have money? It’s the feeling of having the things that money can buy that is important. Get in touch with those feelings.
  3. How – When your motivation is big enough, you can accomplish anything. Once you know where and why you are going, start to figure out the how. Break the big dream down into actionable steps. 
  4. When – Set time frames. Don’t just say that you want to start your own business, define exactly what the business is going to do, what needs it fills, and what you have to do today to start making it a reality.
  5. Act Now – Finally, do something right now! Read a book, make a phone call, do research on the internet, whatever seems like a logical first step. You won’t have a clue what you are doing, but as you start to learn and keep working at it the steps will begin to unfold before you.

Never lose sight of your dreams! Write out exactly what it is you want and then accept no substitutes. Don’t let regret be a companion of your future when it is within your power to do something today to get to where you want to go.