Having confidence in yourself can mean the difference between accomplishing everything you want or never getting your dreams off the ground.
It can be elusive, easily swayed and is impossible to force upon yourself. But like any other skill, confidence can be learned.
Confidence grows when it is nurtured. It must be encouraged, coaxed along gently until it becomes an unshakeable force. Once you have confidence, you can achieve so much more than if you continue hiding under an umbrella of insecurity.
It is during our formative years that confidence either builds or never gets a chance to take root. Like a seedling just popping out of the ground, if it is squashed early in its development it may never recover, at least not by itself.
It’s not about bravado. Most outspoken, loud and brash people aren’t confident in a genuine way. They are more likely to be extremely insecure and they try to mask this by acting arrogantly or exhibiting aggressive behaviour.
Bullies are insecure. Their need to dominate and humiliate someone else is a misguided attempt to make themselves feel better. It isn’t authentic. Confident people never make anyone else feel worse, they are the ones who support others and are encouraging at all times.
But what if you don’t have any? Where do you start?
To have confidence in yourself is crucial to finding happiness in life. There are ways to begin to nurture it within yourself and by doing so, you will see every aspect of your life change for the better.
Five Ways to Build Confidence
- Find your gift. Every person has at least one thing that comes naturally, something she is good at and enjoys doing. Do this even if it is only for yourself. You don’t have to sing at Carnegie Hall, but you can be the best singer in your shower.
- Affirmations. We talk to ourselves all day long, and the script can be either supportive or cruel and heartless. If you wouldn’t say things to a stranger on the street that you say to yourself, then stop the negative self-talk. It is one of the most destructive things we can do to ourselves. You truly become what you think about all day long.
- Start small. Confidence can grow as we accomplish small tasks and congratulate ourselves for doing them. No task is too insignificant. Don’t take for granted the multitude of things you do well every day. They are all successes to be celebrated.
- Find a mentor. You don’t need to meet this person face to face; you can research someone online, read an autobiography, or follow the person on social media. Learn how they do what they do, and then see what you can apply to your own situation. Remember, if someone else is doing something, you can do it too.
- Act as if. What would you look like if you were a confident person? How would you dress, how would you speak, what sorts of activities would you do? It’s the old “fake it until you make it” routine. No one knows that you aren’t confident except for you. By your actions, be the person you want to be and see how it feels.
No one is better than anyone else. We are truly created equal, and we belong because we are here. Don’t justify your existence and think that you aren’t deserving. Claim your right to be the best you can be, knowing that you have no competition because there is only one you.
Whoever you are in this moment is good enough. Have the confidence in yourself to become all that you are capable of being, and understand that holding back your abilities and gifts is selfish. You will have no idea of your greatness until you try.