I sit to write every morning having no idea what the subject is going to be. There is only a blank page before me, and in a moment the thoughts begin to flow and words start to appear on the page.
I have no idea where they come from, I just know that they will come. Without fail, every day, the page begins to fill up with those thoughts and then I walk away.
Often when I return to edit the words, I can’t remember having written them. It is like reading it for the first time. It is a form of automatic writing, where nothing is censored and it just spills on to the page.
The editing usually involves rearranging the blocks into something cohesive, because often the thoughts are scattered around with no thread connecting them.
Sometimes I have to change the title because what I thought I was going to write about turned into something else completely.
I’m good with it. I find comfort in allowing whatever wants to express itself to do so. Most of it I actually really enjoy reading afterwards.
Each day is like that. We wake up with an idea of how things are going to go, and then we are compelled to make adjustments throughout. Nothing ever goes exactly to plan, and if it did it would get kind of boring.
Life by its very nature should never be boring. Because it is unpredictable, it should never feel the same.
I always marvel at how one instant can change your life forever.
There was an accident the other morning. It was early, around 5:30 on a dark and rainy day and a man and woman smashed their vehicle into the back of a tractor trailer that was stopped at a light. They were travelling so fast that the car was sheared right to the back seat.
They had no chance. The car was covered with a tarp, the lifeless bodies left inside as the responders worked on a plan to clean up the mess.
Two lives, one rainy morning, and one tarp. Gone in an instant, whatever they had planned for the day now completely meaningless and insignificant.
Families and friends are left to mourn and package up whatever things were left behind, arrangements need to be made, ceremonies held and estates to be settled.
What were they doing right before the crash? Why didn’t they see the truck in front of them?
Were they arguing, or looking at their phones, in such a rush that they failed to notice what was directly ahead?
The police said they were traveling at a high rate of speed, so some sort of distraction was likely the cause.
It really doesn’t matter. It is over for them, all that they had planned for the day or for their vacation this winter or for Christmas Day. That is how things can go.
One moment, one decision can change the course of your life forever. You think you have some control over what is going on, but in reality you don’t.
And that is okay. Every day is another blank page, an opportunity to live in a joyful state while you are still here.
Because one day you won’t be. That is the human condition.
It is temporary and because of that, it is brilliant.