I just want to feel good.
Whatever I do, this is the ultimate goal. Whatever I think I need in my life, the ultimate aim is to feel good.
It could be a job, a partner, some kind of food or a glass of wine. At the root of everything I do is the desire to feel good.
So why do some of the things I choose to do not support that ultimate goal?
I have been involved with people I knew would be no good for me. I have had more to drink or eat than I should, at some level knowing that I was going to pay for it but unwilling in the moment to stop.
I eat things sometimes because they taste so good, and then my body fights back and nothing about it is good anymore.
It seems kind of insane to do this knowing that it won’t lead me back to what I want, which is to feel good.
Procrastination is part of this too. Sometimes I put off what needs to be done because I just don’t feel like doing it, but then I feel bad about it.
The temptations of the moment overpower the repercussions of the future. People who go on binges, whether with food or drugs or alcohol or sex can understand this.
The future ceases to exist. Instant gratification and the perceived pleasure that something brings right now is all that matters.
Isn’t that what life is about though? Being in the now, being present and knowing that the future is just an illusion?
This is the paradox. By indulging in these excessive behaviours, we aren’t actually present at all. It is a form of unconsciousness where you no longer have control over what you are doing.
When you know that you will feel bad after you do something, but you do it anyways, then that is a sign that you have lost the power of decision making in the moment.
With it you lose the power to feel good.
Become aware of the times when this happens. It could be every day, and most likely it is. If you don’t notice the behaviour and acknowledge that you are indulging in it, then you have no ability to change it.
Awareness brings clarity and power.
I want to feel good. So today, or at least right now, I am going to eat something that supports that, I will move my body because it needs that, and I will take care of the tasks that need to be done.
I know that I will feel better after. I know that if I don’t do this then I will feel worse.
In this moment I have all options available to me. My decisions will lead me in one direction or the other, toward my goals or further away.
In everything I do, the ultimate success is to feel good after I do it, to wake up feeling good and to go to bed feeling good.
Within these parameters it should be somewhat easy to achieve all I need to do.
At least that is what I tell myself now, and if I tell myself that enough it is how my life will unfold.