I had a hard day. I deserve to have dessert.
This has been a tough week. I really need that glass of wine.
It’s just a couple of doughnuts. Tomorrow I will eat better but right now I need this.
Sound familiar at all?
It’s natural to want to reward ourselves for surviving when times are tough. And these days, just by the way society is set up, times tend to be tough a lot.
But when we reward ourselves, are we doing something that helps us or puts us further in the hole?
Unfortunately most of what we consider as rewards, like the big piece of cake or cocktails at the end of the day, are things that punish our bodies. We eat or drink something, finding relief in the instant gratification but then setting ourselves up for the moment of reckoning to come.
Anyone who has ever woken up with a headache from either too much alcohol or too much sugar knows what this is like.
What started as a reward turns into a punishment. Then we promise ourselves that we won’t do that again, that we will take better care of our bodies.
Then we do it all again. Over and over the cycle repeats. Reward, remorse, resolve, and then reward again.
If you recognize yourself in this pattern then you can understand how frustrating it is. You know you want to do better but seem powerless to stop the action in the moment it happens.
So what if you don’t stop it? What if you acknowledge that you need something to help you feel good and you allow yourself that moment without guilt?
The only thing to change is what the reward is. Choose something that will make your body happy too. A massage, a hot bath, a nice cup of tea and some time to read a book, all of these things can be enjoyable as well.
But when you are feeling frustrated and beaten down by life, it is much easier to reach for the sugar or the alcohol. Seeking relief from something that will ultimately harm you is not a sustainable nor a productive habit.
I understand. None of this is easy. This is a big subject, one that is difficult to deal with in this space. It isn’t to point fingers at anyone, to make you feel guilty or weak because of the decisions you make when feeling vulnerable.
No, the purpose of this is to encourage you to be honest with yourself. That is what really matters.
If you know that you can’t eat just one cookie and won’t stop until the entire bag is gone, then you need to acknowledge this and become conscious of the behaviour as it is happening.
Listen to what you are telling yourself. Understand that you have the power to change the narrative.
This is about taking back your control from the things that render you powerless. If it is alcohol, then admit that to yourself. If it is sugar or some other kind of food, then admit that too.
Only by being honest with yourself will you be in a position to make changes.
Begin to consciously choose different rewards for all of life’s ups and downs. Life is tough sometimes, and we need to be okay with finding ways to cheer ourselves on.
Just make them things that the body can celebrate with too.