Now that you have figured out everything that is going wrong and have started to take some action towards making it better, take a few minutes to think about what is going right.
People often feel resistance when I ask them to do this. I have tried to figure out why that is, and it just seems like that is how we are wired. We think that if we appreciate what we already have then we won’t get anything more. Or if we are happy with the way something is that we will lose it.
It’s also easier to think about what is wrong instead of what is right. It allows us to postpone our ability to be happy until the day that everything is perfect. Newsflash – that day will never come.
Action – Like anything else, thinking about and looking for what is good in life is something that we can develop into a habit. For every one thing that isn’t the way you wish it was, there are likely a hundred that if they were to change or disappear, you would have something new to complain about. The point here is to appreciate what is already good and not to take it for granted.
Steps – When you wake up in the morning that is already something to be thankful for. A lot of people won’t get the chance to appreciate another day. And if you are in a comfortable bed with a roof over your head, that’s two more things that are fantastic. Food in the fridge, clean air to breathe, the ability to exchange your talents for money to buy things you want, people who care about you, places to go, things to do – that’s multiple things that are going right so you can function the way you want to in the world.
Start to appreciate everything that you already have. Begin to realize that having more is not necessarily going to make you happy. Happiness is a state of being, not a condition of having.
Why It Makes You Feel Better – When we focus on what we don’t have, or on what isn’t going the way we want it to, we have no room in our minds for appreciation. Focusing on the negative causes a stress reaction in the body and affects our mood and long-term health. You can literally think yourself into a condition of disease by dwelling in negativity.
Conversely, you can think yourself into a state of health and wellbeing. Your mind can orchestrate a system that functions smoothly, instead of one that is constricted and clenched from misery. Things happen in life – it’s your choice how you think about them.
Example – I take ownership of who I am and where I am in life. I can look back and see how decisions that I made along the way led me to exactly where I am. Knowing that, I am able to make decisions today that will take me where I would like to go.
Life is a series of experiences. I think of how fortunate I am to be able to see what I am writing, to hear the noises around me, to taste my coffee and to think about what I am going to eat for breakfast and what sorts of things I want to do this weekend.
That’s a whole lot of things going right for me all at the same time. Life is a temporary condition, so why not feel good about it?