We are taught as children to hide our emotions, to suppress the feelings that lead to outbursts, crying or tantrums. Parents don’t like seeing their children upset, and in society it is frowned upon when kids are screaming and crying in public. The socialization of emotional suppression begins at a very early age.
As we are conditioned to hold in emotions, the physical ramifications of this can be many. Stomach aches, headaches, and other issues can manifest as emotions are held inside. It is part of the price we pay to live in society the way it is, but as we get older we can begin to recognize these pent-up feelings and deal with them in an adult way.
Action – Many people find that turning to professional therapy is helpful, but others may be able to deal with their emotions in another way. The first step in all of this is to recognize that we all have emotions, even if you don’t consider yourself to be very sensitive. Allowing yourself to step away from being analytical and to explore some of what makes you unique as a result of the way you feel can be very liberating.
Acknowledging when you feel upset or sad or angry is important for learning about yourself and how you deal with the world around you. Understanding what your triggers are allows you to hone in on what truly matters to you, whether it is security, love or a sense of belonging.
Steps – Begin to notice how you are feeling. Pay attention to the sensations in your stomach if you aren’t used to doing this, and start to identify what they mean. If you are watching the news, do you feel a tightness inside or the welling up of sadness? If you are stuck in traffic, do you get angry or frustrated? This is about tuning in to different sensations and acknowledging that we have many different feelings and emotions that lead to the way we see the world and express ourselves in it.
We are complicated human beings with the capacity for empathy and fear and anger and love. We are born with emotions and they serve to fill our lives with joy and discovery and growth. If we were truly emotionless, life would be a stark journey with seemingly little purpose. We are not meant to be stones.
Why It Makes You Feel Better – Giving yourself permission to feel what you are feeling and to deal with it in that moment can provide you with a sense of freedom that you may have never felt. Holding on to emotions can cause chronic stress and anxiety and physical manifestations of illness and disease. Processing an emotion as it happens, in an appropriate way, releases you from the need to carry it around.
This doesn’t mean that you need to scream and yell at other people or at traffic or your boss, but it does mean acknowledging that something is upsetting you and getting to the root of the problem. If you can change a situation, then do so. If not, then release the need to control it and allow acceptance into your life.
Example – Recognize what triggers your emotions and then decide to look at things differently. Begin to focus on what is good about a situation instead of everything you don’t like. It’s true that if you look at something in a new way, the way you see it will change. It can be a person in your life, your job, or where you live. Focus on the good around you and feel the emotion of gratitude.
It is impossible to feel angry or upset when you are filled with gratitude. Recognize what you are feeling and allow a new way of looking at things to enable you to find peace.