We spend a great deal of time judging. It’s a necessary part of life in many ways, but it can also limit you from enjoying a peaceful mind. As a matter of survival, judging is useful. We evolved to where we are by judging what was harmful, what plants were edible, which people were friends or enemies, and whether we should stay or move to a new area. Survival judgments are necessary and helpful.
But now we judge far more than what we need for survival. We look at another person and decide within moments whether or not we like them. We judge others’ actions, the way they look, the way they talk and what they do for a living. We judge the weather and how it is going to affect our day and, often, our mood with it. Much of our internal turmoil is the result of judgments we have made as to how things outside of us could affect our position in life.
Action – While judging can be helpful, when these judgments begin to affect how you feel inside and cause you anxiety or make you angry then it can be an issue. If a person says something and you judge them to be an idiot or incompetent, and this makes you upset, then you are allowing something outside of you to control your emotions. This can lead to emotional and physical distress.
Labelling things as good or bad is entirely a personal matter. The person you hate is loved by someone else. The weather that is going to ruin your day is a welcome sight for another. The economy that is causing all of your problems is seen as a golden opportunity for expansion by the person down the street.
Things are the way they are, and becoming paralyzed by the need to label and classify them as good or bad limits the ways you can deal with them. This is where judgment can become crippling.
Steps – There will always be things that you prefer and things you don’t like. The world is like a big buffet with multiple choices and options. Allowing what is there to exist apart from your need to judge it allows you to feel more peaceful inside, and this is a healthier way to live.
Begin to notice all of the judgments you make in the course of a day. Become aware of the moments when you interpret events or news as good or bad. See if you react to the weather, or to what someone says to you, or something you hear in the news. Recognize when you are judging and notice how it makes you feel. This is the first step towards acceptance.
Why It Makes You Feel Better – Demanding that situations or people outside of yourself act or function a certain way is not a peaceful way to exist. You lose your power and become helpless when you judge external happenings as being bad. When you can look at things in a detached way and accept them for what they are, you can become aware of opportunities that you otherwise wouldn’t see. If something needs to be changed and you can change it, then do it. Remain in your power and see every situation as a chance to find peace.
Example – Do this in small steps. Most of us don’t even realize that we are constantly judging. If it’s raining and cold, listen to the thoughts that go through your mind. Instead of saying things like how horrible the day is and deciding that it is going to ruin your plans, just accept that it is raining. It is neither good nor bad – it just is. See if you can adopt this way of thinking with more and more things that normally upset you.
Adopting a less judgmental attitude can foster an inner sense of peace, and with it a healing that is worth working towards.