Stop worrying. Easy to say, but not so easy to do. But why do we worry? What logical reason do we have for thinking of outcomes that we don’t want to see happen, or that frighten us?
Worrying is a type of survival mechanism hardwired into our brains thousands of years ago to help us deal with a dangerous environment. It is a way of remembering where danger lurks and learning to stay away from it. But in the modern world, where the threat of getting attacked by a wild animal is not a reality for most of us, our worrying has morphed into something less productive.
While it might not be possible to completely eliminate worry from our minds, we can learn to work with it and not allow it to become debilitating.
Action – Worrying is always about the future. Even if you are thinking about something that already happened and worrying about it, you are looking ahead to what the possible consequences could be. Identify exactly what the underlying fear is and bring all of your thinking about it into the present moment.
Sometimes just noticing that you are in the midst of worrying about something is enough to stop the process and give you a moment of clarity. Most issues can be dealt with rationally, but only if you are fully aware of what it is you are thinking about.
Steps – Catch yourself in the act of worrying. Acknowledge that whatever it is you are thinking about hasn’t happened yet and may not happen at all. Examine the situation logically and rationally and see how it relates to the present moment.
For instance, if you are worried that you are going to lose your job, lose your savings, run out of money, or not be able to retire, these are all made-up scenarios that either might or might not happen. Worrying about it doesn’t allow you to act from a position of strength. Instead of thinking of disastrous happenings, focus on what you can do in this moment to work towards a positive outcome.
Why It Makes You Feel Better – We live in our minds. The world doesn’t happen outside of us; everything occurs within the confines of our thoughts. If you are constantly thinking of the worst things that can happen to you, it can be a torturous place to live.
Life will happen and there will be things we consider good and things we consider bad. Either way, how you think about it is what your experience will be. By facing each day as it comes and dealing with situations in the moment, you stay in the present and can be more effective at coming up with strategies and solutions.
Worry doesn’t get you a step ahead of the game, but it can be useful to show you what frightens you and what you can do now to strengthen your life situation. While we will never eliminate worry, we can use it as a tool to focus on what is important to us and what needs to be done today to make our tomorrows better.
Example – Worrying about not having enough or not being enough doesn’t put you in a mindset that brings about solutions. If you are worried about paying the bills, then take control of your money right now and make a budget. Figure out what you have and what you need and then begin to brainstorm ideas to make up the difference.
The future is yet to happen and the past is gone forever. When worry takes you over, remember that the only truth you have is the present moment and that you will deal with whatever happens in that moment. It is the only possible way it can be.