Communication is a skill. We either do it well or poorly, and how we communicate affects a big part of what our lives look like. We can completely alter the way people feel towards us with the words that come out of our mouths.
Good communicators say what they mean and mean what they say. When others know exactly what you want, then there can be no misunderstandings. If you don’t express yourself well, it can lead to arguments, mistakes, and hurt feelings. Sometimes what you mean to say isn’t exactly how it comes out and that can end up producing results you didn’t intend.
Action – Spending time forming thoughts and then speaking instead of blurting out whatever comes to mind can be difficult for a lot of people. In a noisy world, being heard can be tough. But if you have something worth saying, others will pay attention. If you are just adding to the incessant noise, then choosing silence might be worth trying.
This doesn’t mean that you should stop talking, but instead of endless chattering why not try listening for a change? It is something that many people never learned to do. Consider words to be valuable, which of course they are, and treat them like currency. Throwing them around without considering how you are using them can lead to a form of spiritual bankruptcy.
Steps – Notice if you are talking just to cover up the silence or if you actually have something to say to those around you. Like a good performer, consider the audience. You shouldn’t speak the same way to your boss as you do to your child, a best friend, or a spouse. Remember that everyone has their own interests and their own stuff going on. They don’t need to hear every detail of everything you did this morning.
When having a conversation, make what you are talking about clear. Don’t assume that the other person can fill in the blanks. Too many misunderstandings come from thoughts that are poorly expressed.
Why It Makes You Feel Better – No one likes being ignored. It can be hurtful when someone else doesn’t listen to what you are saying. Instead of blaming them, consider that maybe you are selfishly demanding attention by making others listen to things they aren’t interested in. Just because we are capable of talking doesn’t mean that we need to do it all of the time.
When people know that what you say has value, you will always have an audience. When they understand that you will always clearly express what you are saying, they will trust you and see you as reliable. Respect others when you speak and you will be respected as well.
Example – People who make their living interviewing others are very good at this. They ask brief questions that are concise and then allow the person to talk. They aren’t prone to interrupting and truly listen to what the other person is saying so the next question flows organically. This provides the person time to express whatever it is they have to say. Barbara Walters is one example of a skilled interviewer.
Speak clearly and don’t feel that you need to talk all of the time. By allowing some silence to permeate a space, you encourage others to ask for more or to share what is important to them. Either way, you will be considered a great communicator.